Corporate culture loves to pretend the playing field is level. That success is about merit. That the best ideas always rise to the top.
But here’s the truth: women in the workplace aren’t playing the same game as their male colleagues. They’re walking a tightrope—expected to be confident, but not too confident. Direct, but not too direct. Ambitious, but never “aggressive.”
Men get judged on potential. Women get judged on proof. A man who takes risks is seen as visionary, while a woman who does the same is called reckless. A man who speaks up is strong; a woman who speaks up is difficult.
Then there’s the motherhood penalty. The assumption that a woman with kids is “less committed” while a man with kids is seen as responsible and stable. Promotions, pay raises, and leadership roles don’t come as easily when decision-makers quietly assume you’ll be too “distracted” to lead.
And let’s talk about the burden of “likability.” Women are expected to be competent and warm, assertive yet approachable—striking a balance that men never have to consider. It’s exhausting.
So what’s the fix? First, stop pretending bias doesn’t exist. Second, call it out—when you see it, when you hear it, when you feel it. Third, change the system—because women shouldn’t have to keep performing this balancing act just to be taken seriously.
Let’s hear it: What’s one unspoken rule for women at work that men never have to think about?
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